You're not a REAL fan

TV Character: Well, you know me. I'm a fan of history.
Wife: No you're not! If you were a fan of history you'd have the plague.

In Vino Veritas: Midnight Edition

Wife: Turn off the light! I don't like light. It's dumb.

When There's Music at Breakfast

Wife: So the first week I'm at the Radisson, and the next week I'll be at the Hilton. Now, I don't know--oh! Dance break! *starts dancing in her seat*
Husband: (dumbfounded stare)