Wife: If I hadn't insisted on watching Torchwood earlier, we could have watched the sunset tonight.
Husband: Meh. It'll be there tomorrow. It's a rerun.
Wife: This is why you don't get laid more often.

In my defense, she was only "scantily clad"

Wife: You put some pants on that video game character! The boobs can stay, but put some pants on her!

I Don't Understand

Wife: No, that's not how it works! You're supposed to LET me punch you!

I Understand

Wife: I kinda want to take a nap before I go to bed.