Our Silver Linings Playbook

Wife: I mean, you're a little crazy, but I'm A LOT crazy.

Understandable position

Wife: I tell you what, I'd have a lot less patience for hipsters if it weren't for the craft beer movement.

Standard dinner time conversation

Wife: Don't roll your eyes at me! I'll punch you in your sleep, and you'll die. Please hand me the pepper.

But I can't control what happens when I'm asleep!

Wife: People must think you're so abused, but they don't know how much you fart on me.